Yuri Plisetsky (
yuri_plisetsky) wrote2017-05-23 02:39 pm
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Moscow: Rostelecom Cup, GPF Qualifer Short Program (1.08)
The Rostelecom Cup is the last event of the 2014 ISU Grand Prix of Figure Skating series. In the men's figure skating division, two competitors -- Otabek Altin of Kazakhstan and Christophe Giacometti of Switzerland -- have secured their places in the Grand Prix Final. The remaining four slots will be determined by the final standings of the six skaters competing in Moscow, based on their scores in previous ISU Grand Prix events:
- Michele Crispino (Italy): 3rd Place, NHK Trophy
- Yuuri Katsuki (Japan): 2nd Place, Cup of China
- Seung-gil Lee (Republic of Korea): 2nd Place, NHK Trophy
- Jean-Jacques Leroy (Canada): 1st Place, Skate Canada
- Emil Nekola (Czech Republic): 3rd Place, Skate Canada
- Yuri Plisetsky (Russian Federation): 2nd Place, Skate Canada
As the competitors arrive in Moscow, two particular skaters are the focus of much press and fan speculation. Fifteen-year-old Yuri Plisetsky is making his senior debut in his first major competitive event in his home country, after a strong showing at Skate Canada in Kelowna, British Columbia. At the same time, Japanese skater Yuuri Katsuki has arrived in Moscow with his coach, the long-reigning world champion Viktor Nikiforov, and based on his remarkable performance at the Cup of China in Shanghai...
...but all of this is only to be expected from the official press coverage.
On the ground, the reality is a little more complicated than that.
- Michele Crispino (Italy): 3rd Place, NHK Trophy
- Yuuri Katsuki (Japan): 2nd Place, Cup of China
- Seung-gil Lee (Republic of Korea): 2nd Place, NHK Trophy
- Jean-Jacques Leroy (Canada): 1st Place, Skate Canada
- Emil Nekola (Czech Republic): 3rd Place, Skate Canada
- Yuri Plisetsky (Russian Federation): 2nd Place, Skate Canada
As the competitors arrive in Moscow, two particular skaters are the focus of much press and fan speculation. Fifteen-year-old Yuri Plisetsky is making his senior debut in his first major competitive event in his home country, after a strong showing at Skate Canada in Kelowna, British Columbia. At the same time, Japanese skater Yuuri Katsuki has arrived in Moscow with his coach, the long-reigning world champion Viktor Nikiforov, and based on his remarkable performance at the Cup of China in Shanghai...
...but all of this is only to be expected from the official press coverage.
On the ground, the reality is a little more complicated than that.
Arrivals - Sheremetyevo and the Star Hotel, Moscow
When it was first built in Soviet times, it was effectively two airports side by side: Sheremetyevo-1 mostly served domestic flights, while the larger and newer Sheremetyevo-2 catered to (and monitored the foreigners travelling on) international airlines. Years of ongoing construction have mashed the two main terminals together, and passengers coming off the regional Aeroflot shuttles from places like St. Petersburg now have to fight their way through the crowds of confused, jet-lagged foreigners and returning citizens exiting the immigration and customs halls. So as Yakov Feltsman, Lilia Baranovskaya, and their skaters join the flow of traffic with their luggage, and the crowd seems to thicken and slow down as they approach the exits, nothing appears out of the ordinary -- until women's voices start to ring out in front of and around them, first in surprise and then in delight:
'Hey, look!'
At the sound of his name, Yuri's head jerks up, and he blenches at the sight of a slew of excited girls and young women, some of whom are wearing headbands with cat ears on them, waving all sorts of flags and banners with his name and picture and any number of cheerful and encouraging slogans on them. They're happy, they're cheering for him, they're clearly overjoyed to be catching a glimpse of him on his arrival in Moscow for the Rostelecom Cup. So of course the first thought in his mind is a definitely ungrateful one: Oh, fuck, why now?
Whatever. He knows Sheremetyevo, and this isn't the only exit by a long shot. So he hikes his backpack higher on his shoulders and grabs the edge of his hood with one hand, ready to make a break for it. 'Mila, watch my luggage,' he says in a low voice -- and then darts back into the main terminal without waiting for her to respond.
Confused, Mila looks around, but Yuri is nowhere to be seen. And as their entire team knows, it's not a good idea for Yuri Plisetsky to be out of anyone's sight for too long. 'Coach Yakov,' she says, a little worriedly, 'Yuri's disappeared.'
Yakov and Lilia glance back, confirming her statement, but for once Yakov doesn't seem inclined to keep his younger skater on a leash. 'Ah,' he says knowingly. 'His family in Moscow is coming to pick him up.'
Re: Arrivals - Sheremetyevo and the Star Hotel, Moscow
Except it wasn't really just from sitting, was it? It's from the people, too.
He's never minded being surrounded by people: fans, reporters, sponsors, fellow skaters, he enjoys them all. He's used to it, even being away in Japan for the last eight months. The experiences of almost two decades have made the relative quiet of Hasetsu the abnormal, not the usual. There was a strange sensation of homecoming not simply from being back in Russia, seeing the familiar Cyrillic letters on the signage, hearing the language spoken fluidly all around him, but the attention, too. Fans and well-wishers, wanting photographs or a greeting, many flying in for the same competition he's here for.
It's nice. But tiring.
And not nearly as fun for Yuri, who dislikes being in the spotlight nearly as much as Victor enjoys it, and that gives him an excuse to shuffle them out of the airport and into a waiting cab as soon as possible, before slumping back against the seat and smiling over at Yuri, wanting to reach and take his hand. "That could have been worse."
Better still is actually getting to the hotel, even if it's not the best possible choice. It's still a hotel, not a plane or a taxi, and he's grateful for it, and for the ease of checking in before the real rush of skaters and visitors floods the lobby.
But best will be actually getting to the room itself, and taking full advantage of a hotel shower, with all the accompanying hot water and pressure it can offer.
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Giving up all of his daytime hours to running his programs again and again, back to back, until even Victor is certain he should take a breather, because most people like them, even the best of the best of them, wouldn't do even that much without between each one. To the harness and pushing himself hard to learn the quad flip landing, while, also, not injuring anything this close to Rostelcom. Giving up his nights two to tthe NHK Trophy, and two to the Trophée de France, following close, too close, just close enough, as Grand Prix Finalist slots begin to fill.
(And Victor.
In a whole new way.
In every single one of them.)
The first real pause comes with travel, and as much as his body is desperate for it, it makes the rest of him more restless. The flight is long. It doesn't matter whether it would be shorter or longer from home, or from anywhere else. It makes him restless, fills him with the feeling of being trapped, when he should be up, running, doing something, anything, but there's nothing to be but still. Stay sitting. Wait.
Wait for the airplane to arrive. Wait for the airplane to takeoff. Wait for the airplane to touch down.
Wait to walk out into the world of Moscow. Russia. Land of the dozen or so half-phrases Victor has been helping him with over the last week. Weekend where he has two days left. Two. To prove he deserves to be sent to Barcelona. To compete against the other top five skaters in the world. (To be one of those top six.)
The airport on arrival is madness, and for the first time since getting up at something that shouldn't even be considered a relative of morning yet, and especially anytime in the last any number of hours, he wants to get back on the plane. Or be back in Pudong, where so many fewer people were actually left to watch them leave. Not no one. Just. Nothing like the crowds that greet them beyond baggage and held back by security to specific spaces. Pandemonium that drills into Yuri's head like actual nails, while Victor effortlessly waves and laughs.
Minako isn't there to make any comments (isn't going to be there at all, this time, for the first time [again]), but Yuri pastes an ungainly smile on his mouth. Already hearing in his head the message she might leave if he doesn't in some picture or video she finds. Still it's really nothing like ease either while he waits on Victor who is only too glad to have pictures taken, or to toss out amusing one-liners and his signature smile or wink.
(And how is that something that just coils too tight in the center of him?
When this is normal. Absolutely normal. It always was. Even a week ago.
The taxi is a relief, if marginally, and he spends most of the ride staring out the window at a million things he can't read. Taking in the look of the buildings, the streets, and cars, and the gray, gray, gray sk ywith its matching thick, thick snow. Heavy and impending at him from above and below. Cold and white to cloud up his head. Victor says it isn't too bad, and Yuri just slides a look at him, having to turn his head to find him, and then almost back to the window. But he stops himself. "Yeah."
Though at this second he doesn't have an image from something he'd consider worse
(that isn't his favorite go-to, and that doesn't apply to airports so much as tomorrow on the ice).
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Then, finally, his eye lands on a small, weather-beaten car that is as green from rust as it is from paint, and his heart gives an extra leap.
At almost the same time, the driver of the car -- a man perhaps a few years older and a few inches shorter than Yakov Feltsman, with a worn cloth cap and a thick, greying beard -- slowly gets out of it, and as he turns and catches sight of Yuri watching him a smile lights up his face. 'Oh, Yuri!' he calls out.
'Dedka!' And then Yuri Plisetsky, the fierce and driven Ice Tiger of Russia who will stop at nothing to be the best in the world, is running at full tilt to fling himself straight into the arms of his grandfather --
(crack!)
-- having momentarily forgotten that he isn't five years old anymore, and that it isn't a good idea to expect someone with back problems to catch you in mid-air as if the two of you spend hours every day working on lifts and throws.
Not, perhaps, the long-awaited reunion that either of them might have hoped for. For a moment, both Plisetskys are hunched over on the pavement in the middle of the road outside Sheremetyevo International Airport, as Nikolai tries to make the world stop spinning around him and his grandson flails anxiously beside him, stammering apologies as he pats and rubs ineffectually at the places he hopes he hasn't hurt too badly. But it isn't all that long before they manage to help each other into the car, and leave the airport behind them for the too-short drive to the competition hotel.
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But it is closer to home than anywhere he's been in the last eight months, and that means something. It means he knows to wave off the cab driver when he tries to take their bags, and can converse easily with the concierge in the hotel, and the food on offer at the hotel restaurant is so familiar it almost aches just to see the names on the menu. All of it mixing with the weariness of travel and the simmering excitement about tomorrow, and it leaves him feeling wired and exhausted all at the same time. If it were just him, he'd go for a run, or to a rink for laps and jumps, and then find a local bar and wait for his friends to roll into town, but it isn't just him. It's him and Yuri in the elevator, on the way up to this newest hotel room (it feels somehow as if they've been in hotels forever), and that makes him smile over at his skater.
Maybe he could have been doing all those things. His own prep. Food and company. A night out enjoying the town and socializing.
This is still better.
Even when he sighs, and pushes his sunglasses up onto his head while he leans back against the elevator wall. "Oh, I could use a shower. It's nice to be off the plane, isn't it? We can take our time unpacking and getting something to eat."
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He knows that even more the more he starts looking into it. Because of this weekend.
Which means it's not the Russian that is light. It's Victor. Light. Smiling. Even through the edges Yuri can see, too. Hanging on the way he moves, or the press of his mouth. It's still there. Through it. Like a light rippling through water, travelworn edges. While interacting with people and exchanging words Yuri gets by context, but not translation. Seeing Victor from the outside -- but not all at once. Seeing him here. In Russia. Talking the way he hasn't been able to for months maybe. Unfettered. His language. His world.
A juxtaposition of things, when Victor is standing in the elevator, leaning on the wall, travel clothes and dark sunglasses. Like a few minutes back was a track skipping, where this looks absolutely normal. Which maybe makes Yuri stare more. Even if it's not exactly head on, until Victor speaks again. Sighs first, and pushes his glasses up, tired familiar smile, fading from the center out, as Yuri nods.
"Anything has to be better than airplane food."
Victor had said honey cakes, Yuri hadn't forgotten. What he might want most.
(And the Red Square. The one Yuri has looked up since it was originally brought up, and had to be told the name again. With its hanging lights and massive glowing austere buildings, almost like American holiday decorations. That even on a screen still seemed so far away. Across the world, and across a divide of something so much greater than distance or time.
With The Rostelcom Cup between here and there, and the wholly realistic question of whether it would exist at all in two days, if Yuri didn't make it, couldn't make it, if Yuri had no reason to be here the last day and Victor would, instead, be figuring out what he needed to do now that he had no reason to return to Hasetsu.)
Yuri tried not to shift too much, fingers loose on the handle of his bag, swallowing and glancing toward the screen counting up the numbers to their floor. Pushing it back, taking a breath in. Something more. Something here, and now. "Do you want to order something while you shower? Or did you have somewhere in mind?"
This was his world, and it was Victor.
There was no doubt Victor could, without warning, whip out a plan detailed enough to make Yuri regret asking.
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The first bite is heaven, of course. Perfectly seasoned beef and mushrooms in soft fluffy dough, and all it takes it one taste to transport him back to the kitchen of his childhood, where he can practically hear the sound of onions being minced and soup bubbling on the stove. There's only one other food he knows that even comes close to tasting this good, and so he says, almost without thinking about it, 'Say, Dedka, have you ever had katsudon?'
'Kat-su-don?' his grandfather repeats, stumbling a little over the unfamiliar syllables.
Yuri gives a little nod, savouring the deliciousness of the first few mouthfuls. 'I had it when I was in in Japan. It's super-tasty.'
For such a casual comment, the answering silence lasts an odd few seconds longer than it ought to, before his grandfather says, abruptly, '...are the pirozhki not very good?'
'Huh?' Yuri's eyes go wide. (Why would -- what did he -- how could Dedka even think something like that?) 'N-no, that's not what I meant --' he begins hastily, but just then the piece ends, and the voice of the Radio Orpheus announcer cuts into his explanation.
'Our national hero, Viktor Nikiforov, has returned to Russia as a coach in the Figure Skating Grand Prix Series --'
-- and Yuri jams the pirozhok halfway into his mouth and angrily switches off the radio before he can hear the rest of it. Can't he escape from that asshole for ten goddamned minutes? He almost doesn't even want to look out the windows of the car for fear that he'll see some advertisement with Viktor-fucking-Nikiforov's face beaming down at him like he's got a laser sight pointed right at Yuri's forehead. Like a target.
But then his grandfather is saying something, into the sudden silence that the radio has left behind. 'What's in this kat-su-don you said that you had in Japan?'
'Mreh?' With effort, Yuri wrenches himself back into the conversation, and takes the pirozhok out of his mouth. 'Oh, uh, katsudon, yeah. It's, uh, fried pork cutlet and scrambled egg on a big bowl of rice. There's onion in it, too, and some kind of sauce....' He doesn't know how to describe it, so he shrugs. 'It's a little like that soy sauce they had at that Chinese place near my old dance studio, I think.'
'Pork cutlet, egg, and rice.' Nikolai puts on his turn signal to change lanes. Their exit must be coming up soon. 'Hm.' It's a quiet, thoughtful sound in the back of his throat.
'But your pirozhki are still the best, Dedka!' Yuri takes a huge, panicked bite of the one in his hands, suddenly and irrationally afraid that it'll disappear from his hands before he can finish it. 'Irh cwould -- mmrph, I mean, I could eat them every day and never get tired of them, ever.'
That brings a bit of a smile to his grandfather's face, as he glances over at Yuri. 'Well, you don't need to eat them all now, Yuratchka,' he says, as he takes the exit that will lead them to the Star Hotel. 'There'll be more where those come from soon enough.'
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Not to the point he'd know where to go, or what to do first. Unlike Barcelona, Tokyo, all the cities he's traveled to for competitions, he hadn't ever spent much time sight-seeing in his home country. Not much in Moscow, and not much in Sochi, either –– although Sochi at least had the benefit of being a travel destination even for Russians. "We can ask the concierge where to go. I think I want to get out for a little while, don't you?"
Hotel to plane to cab to hotel: his lungs are crying out for fresh air and his legs need to be stretched. "And then you can go to bed early so you won't be too jetlagged tomorrow."
The room itself is the same as every other hotel room: basic furniture, tiny bottles of shampoo and lotion, bedside table, thick drapes to cut out the light from the Moscow nightlife, such as it is. For a moment, there's a strange sense of deja vu, as if they've just arrived in Shanghai all over again, doomed to repeat the same week in a constant loop without ever leaving the hotel –– but there's Russian on the instructions for room service and for the phone, and the view out the window is nothing like Shanghai's glittering streets. It's gray and cold and it isn't home, but it's not a stranger, either.
The shower is satisfying, and so is changing into fresh, clean clothes. The kind he doesn't wear as often anymore: not his black and comfortable work clothes, not one of his suits, which he sends along with Yuri's costumes to be pressed before they're needed tomorrow and the day after. The sun has broken through the clouds by the time they leave, and he slips his sunglasses back on while his other arm goes companionably around Yuri's shoulders to direct him back out towards the elevator. "Let's go!"
Except it takes longer than he'd hoped to actually get food, because the lobby is beginning to be choked with arriving skaters and fans, and the reporters are out in full force. It takes nearly ten minutes to navigate his way just back to the front desk to even get a restaurant recommendation, and fifteen to get out of the lobby entirely, while deflecting questions in English so Yuri can understand, and smiling for pictures, dragging Yuri in alongside him every time a new camera or phone lifts.
But the food is good, and the restaurant is mostly quiet and tries to comp their food, each piece of which Victor explains and watches Yuri try with a look of pure delight on his own face, laughing at each reaction whether good or bad. (The tip he leaves is substantial.)
All of it only making that buzz under his skin grow a little louder, a little more insistent, with each bite of food that used to be familiar, and is now almost novel.
The borscht is particularly good.
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He lays down on the furthest bed, while Victor showers. On top of the covers. Feeling as restless as he does exhausted, but that's normal enough, too. It's been a frozen day, without all the driven, pushing, reaching, demanding movement of the last at least week, and its the ramping energy for tomorrow and the day after.
The two days, of moments only five minutes and less, twice.
Minutes to make everything this whole week look like he was only playing.
He doesn't actually mind the way Victor grabs his shoulder to steer him from the room, through the hallways, into the elevator -- until the elevator opens. Until any number of surprised and suddenly delighted eyes shoot from one of them to the other, back and then back, and it's not new. But the flavor is just slightly different. It is.
(He hates how relieved he is when Victor has to let go to cross the lobby.
Then, only minutes later, how awkwardly he can't seem to smile right
every time Victor drags him back in for a photo,
or a conversation of questions he only half understands.)
Still, they do get out of there.
To a restaurant where everyone is, once they've been there longer than half a minute, still smiling, and the whispering, which might be normal everywhere he's been with Victor has been since leaving home -- it's another different here, too. More buzz. More staring. More laughing. Pride and excitement that doesn't at all center on Yuri. He's not lucky enough to miss it or lack inclusion, but it's Victor's. Not his. That is clear.
Every glint in every eye of people who seat them, serve them, fill their water. The faintest tremble, here. Blushing cheeks, there. Conversations from nearby tables that he doesn't know the language of, but he can't miss hearing either of Victor's names even in other mouths or blurred ocean of only partly familiar sounds.
The food is distracting, as is the fact that no matter how many people say Victor's name and don't stop staring at Victor, Victor won't stop staring at him. As though every single thing dropped on the table has to be pushed to Yuri fist, as though everything puts in his mouth needs to be related.
Even prepared for the idea, the tea still tastes more like a dessert. The olivier reminds him a little American chicken salad. The pelmeni is, if folded differently, just like dumplings from home. The borsct is ... very red, but nothing like the spice he expects from the color. He rather likes the shashlik, but the cabbage rolls are a slightly embarrassing mess.
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Men's Short Program
Yuri and his bag are outside Lilia's door at the appointed meeting time to say good morning to her and wait for Yakov, Mila, and Georgi to join them. They all know the drill, speaking as little as possible as they go downstairs to have a solid breakfast. Even without Yakov and Lilia's stone-faced presence, the Russian skaters are an intimidating wall of single-minded focus, their faces already set in concentration for the day ahead. Once the meal is over, the headphones come out, and the silence reigns absolute.
(In days long past, Russia's figure skaters and ballet dancers travelled and toured with the ever-present shadows of handlers, assigned to watch over them constantly. There is no one here to spy on them now, but the practice of avoiding unnecessary talking is yet another legacy handed down from Yakov and Lilia's generation.)
A wet, clumpy snow is falling in the grey twilight outside as the Russian contingent leaves the hotel for the arena. It's a little too warm still for the snow to do more than turn into slushy piles and puddles on the pavement, but they all hunker down a little in their coats, turning further inward for now. Once they're back indoors, inside the arena, they'll be able to open up again -- until then, it's enough to shut out the cold.
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The one small blessing and it seems almost hardly one in the midnight dark, during coming awake too many times: he doesn't actually have to be concerned with a too early start really. Even if he has plans, routines, requirements for the morning, starting before the dawn, if dawn even shows up under all the Moscow winter gray, they won't skate until mid-evening. They won't even have their longround of on-ice warm-ups until just before midday, and even then Ladies, and Pairs, and the secondary, on-ice, Opening will come before they perform, still.
Hypothetically, he could even be elsewhere for those, until it really was their time. He could be here.
In the hotel. In his bed. Again. Like Victor had drug him last time. Not that he'd likely sleep more, or better.
But Victor had said he spent all his pre-skate time sleeping, and that left it tucked somewhere in his head. An option.
It's still dark when Yuri gets up, and does his first round of stretching and exercises for the day. Keeping all of it gentle, but pushed to where he can feel all of his sore muscles ache and shiver back under the strain he makes them hold. He'll go harder in the greater time after breakfast, and he might have Victor work on his hip. But, after breakfast. Which Yuri agrees should be downstairs. Whatever's available and recognizable he'll take, and the rest at least will be filled with familiar things for Victor to eat, instead of having to limit himself to some ordering menu.
The downstairs is crowded, but it's the normal cacophony. Bunches of people here and there. Some in the same colors for countries and some in clumps he can tell are mixed, because they some have their country jackets with them, and they don't match. There's another pang, looking at this sea of tables and heads, the noises of them rolling at him, that makes him feel even more adrift again for the same reason as last night. He doesn't know anyone here like last time. He hadn't thought it mattered so much then, and yet suddenly it stood out.
Yuri breakfast plate ends up having more on it than he could ever eat, but it's not entirely like he'll admit it was easier to go on stacking things than quite knowing what to do more than half-stutter at the people who were likewise spooning and placing things on their plates, but, also, wishing him a friendly good morning and asking how he thought the day would go. On the other hand, as he watched the room, while shoveling bites in, maybe he would finish it.
He wouldn't eat another meal in the next ten or eleven hours, in case his nervous took a truly disastrous turn.
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Yuri has a tendency towards silence when he's preparing for a performance, so Victor does the talking for both of them, chatting lightly about the various options available for breakfast, the stretches he wants Yuri to focus on when they get back to the room, what the morning's practice should look like –– along with commentary on the hotel itself, the weather, what Moscow was like the last time he was here, and where they should try to go sight-seeing if they have a chance after the short programs. His preference before competitions was always just to go back to the hotel room and sleep until Yakov called him, but Yuri, with his tendency to get lost in his own head and spiral into panic and uncertainty, usually prefers structured activity.
Even with a day this long ahead of them, that's doable. It only means they don't have to rush from one thing to the next, and Victor can appreciate that: a long breakfast, followed by a return to the room for Yuri to stretch and for Victor to work out knots in his shoulder and the small of his back and help manipulate that hip until movement is easy and fluid. Yuri's nerves don't seem as bad this time around as they had been in Shanghai –– his success there might have improved his confidence –– but Victor won't leave anything to chance, if he can help it.
No more breakdowns in garages because he misread the situation or didn't know what to do.
( just believe in me ! )
He can do that. Yuri has nothing to prove to him: he's known this was possible all along.
But it feels good to get to the rink, breathe the cold air, and watch Yuri trace his familiar patterns across the ice.
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For more an hour, in the quiet of their improvised studio, Yuri might as well be in another ballet lesson. Full, deep stretches, some light calisthenics, and a simple set of turns and jumps counted out in the 6/8 time signature of Agape. A pause for some water and additional stretching, and then a set of slow, deliberate adagio movements -- the fondu to rehearse the act of sinking into a jump landing or a sit spin, the devéloppé for strength and control and balance over his working and supporting legs, and others, all counted out to the same time signature as before. In this windowless room they might be anywhere in the world, or nowhere at all; for Yuri, all his focus is bent on his reflection in the mirror, searching for the vision of strength and beauty that Lilia demands of him.
It is during the pause that follows, as Yuri sits on the floor to drink more water and stretch his legs again, that Lilia speaks words beyond instructions for almost the first time that day. 'You were testing different arm positions on your jumps, in the days before we left,' she says, a neutral observation that is anything but neutral. 'Are you intending to use them to increase your technical difficulty points?'
At her question, Yuri freezes in mid-stretch. He recovers in the next second, though he knows immediately that his pause was a second too long. 'If I have to,' he says, without looking up.
'Hesitation.' Lilia shakes her head. 'You must commit to them fully, without reserve, if you choose to do them. It will throw off your balance if you change your mind at the last second.' But today is not a day for criticism alone, which is why she does not leave it there. 'The program is strong enough without them. You've improved it since we returned from Canada; that much will be evident from the moment you step out onto the ice.'
It had been a very long series of plane rides between Kelowna and St. Petersburg. Plenty of time (save it for Moscow) to think about what he could have done better. 'I won't change anything unless I have to,' Yuri says, drawing his legs up under him in order to get to his feet. 'But if I have to,' he adds, more firmly, as he stands, 'I won't hesitate.'
It's enough of an answer to end their practice on. And it is also nearly time for the men's first warm-up session, so without another word they leave the conditioning room and head down to begin the first day of the Rostelecom Cup.
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Victor has the long list of what he wants Yuri to work on, and they do that, but at the sametime he prattles about other things, too, and Yuri doesn't know that he could explain how much that helps. It's, maybe, not even the words. Victor talking about Russia, all of which and whom will want Victor, today today today especially. Reminding him of every gasp of his name, and the sign on the building, and being told, so close to his ear it was singed in with shock, it was a sin to keep Victor to himself.
Even when everything, it circles, settling, making his heart speed up too often, he waits for it to start tripping him up, to bite in and start shaking him in place, shattering his thoughts to shredded startling jumps -- and it doesn't, which only makes him quieter, more sure that it's about to start every next minute, next second, jumpy at the shadows of shadows that haven't fallen on him yet. Because it is yet. It's always yet.
Which doesn't stop Victor's voice, whether it's instructions or commentary, and somehow that helps. Moors him against falling away, drags him into focus every other step from what drags him right out of it. They play a teeter-totter game, and maybe Yuri has short sentence answers less often than nods, or agreements to do whatever he's supposed to next. But it still helps. In ways, he has no words for.
As does finally getting to go to the rink. As much as he doesn't want to start this day, he wants to start it, too. It's a nauseous restlessness knotting in his stomach, wanting to run both forward and backward, even when it's not yet an insane spiral. (Yet.) Not even when he's in the building (yet), in his clothes (yet), and handing Victor his guards (yet), listening to Victor tell him, again, what he thinks Yuri should work on (yet) and what he should avoid overdoing (yet).
Outside the ice, the crowds are already filling more than half the stands. The warm-up itself feels too short, and too long. Looping circles and easier moves that won't be complicated by the close skate of four others while on the outer circuit. He waits his turn through the three people in the order before him -- watching more than he should, he knows, it's not about comparing, it's about showing, but he still watches them all, marks what they work on, where it fit into the things they'd done before, and what's new -- before taking his turn in the center.
Five minutes that feels more like one, but he practices his combination. He considers hard at it but doesn't do the flip. Even if there's a temptation in it, and he swears he catches more than one or two people watching him closely. Something to throw to the wolves in his bones. Yuri throws himself into his closing spins and drops. His other quads. There are turns and long switches, giving himself into the speed he can't take with others right by him. His axel is a given, and he does it even when he knows it won't falter.
He does it because it gives it to himself. Last. Like breathing.
Before gliding out at back to the edge when he should.
It's only ten minutes more and those go just quickly.
Ten minutes, before the bell is ringing, and the bite under Yuri's skin isn't about performing, isn't about eyes, it's a banging need telling him to do more, push harder, now, now, now, not to stop. Even though he does. Stop. Or at least follow the group of those closer, when the bell had sounded, back to the gate between the ice and the walk around the arena. Where Victor is waiting, and he takes a tissue first to blow his nose and fold over twice, then rub at the sweat on his cheeks and forehead.
"That wasn't too bad." He'd definitely had worse warmups. At least he hadn't fallen down this time.
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That's a pleasing thought. Of course, Yuri should be comfortable in any rink he has to skate in, but Victor would have to be blind and deaf as well as unobservant to think that Moscow might hold a greater challenge for Yuri than Shanghai had, and not only because the line-up here is likely to be more difficult to beat. He hasn't forgotten Yuri's tear-soaked confession in the garage ––
( I've been secretly wondering if you want to leave! )
–– and though Yuri hasn't brought it up, he wouldn't be surprised if there are some worries about his own ties to this city and this country that he'll have to dispel.
It doesn't look like it yet, though. If anything, Yuri seems more relaxed than Victor's seen him yet before any competition, so maybe things really are improving. It's a pleasing thought, as he hands over the water bottle for Yuri to take a sip. "Does anything feel tight? How are your blades and boots feeling?"
Everything should be fine, exactly as they left it the night before, exactly how it should be. They've both done this dozens of times; Yuri knows what to expect, even if Victor has to constantly remind himself of what he should be looking for and remembering as a coach.
In many ways, this is the most important competition so far for him, too, a constant reminder as he's pushing the gate open and handing Yuri his skate guards, one after another.
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Even when he'd lived in Moscow, he'd never trained here. It's a far cry from the outdoor public rinks he first skated on, wobbling through swizzles and testing out shaky crossovers on blades that were nearly as worn and fragile as the ice itself. It's bigger than the rinks he'd done his earliest training on, before he'd chosen to leave home for St. Petersburg in order to dedicate himself completely to the sport. It's the Small Sports Arena, where in a matter of hours he'll be skating as a contender for one of the four remaining men's Grand Prix Final slots.
Once he's on the ice, there's no turning back. This is where he'll rise or fall.
When he pushes away from the wall, he lets himself glide almost to a complete stop before he picks up the pace again and considers his plan of attack. Above all else, at this first warm-up he needs to take the muscle movements of his work with Lilia and translate them into an almost exaggeratedly slow run-through of his steps and turns. The technical tests of his jumps can wait for the immediate pre-skate warm-up; it's the transitions and the performance elements that he needs to lock in completely, those critical PCS points that so frustratingly elude him when he focuses too much on nailing the required jumps and spins. He can't risk thinking too much about the story itself just yet -- for now, he needs to remind his body of what it has to do to let that story shine through.
Smooth moves. Clean lines. The bright calm and unshakable serenity that come with unconditional love.
Even when it's time to leave the ice, they still have several hours to go before the first group of men's skaters go on. Yuri knows that his grandfather won't even have left home yet -- but again, he can't seem to help pausing before he steps off the rink, letting his eyes scan the innumerable rows of seats just for a second in some sort of twisted anticipation.
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Aside from Victor throwing out words like that, like somehow it's as simple as that, and Yuri knows he's thinking too fast. Maybe even breathing too fast. That it's conveniently spiked at the end of half an hour of warming up, on the day when everything is a hundred ratchets tighter and higher. But. Still. He works as sipping his water slower to try and make his heart find its way back to beating at anything like a normal speed. Victor goes on, not seeming to even care -- or register? -- what he said, and at least it does give Yuri something else to respond to.
Shaking his head as he finally lowers the water bottle. Caps it, so that he can tuck it under his arm, up near his armpit, where he can use the most muscle to hold it and still move enough of his arms, to use his fingers to take one skategaurd at time in one hand, using the other to slide the snow off his blades, before hooking his guard over his blade. Answering as he reached for the second, "Nothing feels loose."
He would have been able to tell out there, because of the speed, the movement required by his turns, or the inability to take his weight in landing his triples and quads, especially, but nothing had felt off. (Nothing more than himself. Occasionally, and that was normal, too.) His boots were well worn in. His blades were still sharp enough for deep edges, so long as he took the time, even if it was only one second, all in, to do them right. Didn't get caught up in his head.
Didn't try to race too fast to correct mistakes.
Didn't make too many mistakes to not be able to come back from.
(Didn't lose Victor entirely when, or if, he lost this last round of the entire Qualifier to the Prix.)
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Wherein it all starts to go wrong
While JJ's music seems very on the nose, at the front of the group watching in the back area, with Victor at his side, it's still impossible to not see the caliber of his skating. The cleanness of his moves. The height of his jumps. The sheer level of audience involvement as the voices begin to sing along. When he lands a quad lutz in the second half, even the announcers point out Victor hadn't.
There's a sinking feeling pooling in Yuri's stomach as JJ is kissing the ice. There's no way he'll hold first against that. Which feels like dread and disappointment much more than anything that even resembles relief. But he's distracted by the sudden buzzing of his phone vibrating in his pocket, and he looks down to see 真利 at the top of his screen. Slipping back through the people and further from the tv, wondering why his sister would be calling.
It was a habit for them to call after, but this was early, and the last thing he wanted to do was tell them they should wait for JJ's scores so they aren't congratulating him for the wrong thing. It's prepped in his mouth to say as much, likely even on a speaker phone, when Mari's voice comes on and something is wrong. Something is. Her tone is a hurried hesitation, already apologetic and apologizing and the prepared sentence falls for a concerned confusion digging into his stomach.
Familiar dread spiking into his chest, suddenly, when Mari says that Maccachin stole some of the buns. That they'd gotten stuck in his throat and everyone was at the vet. That he might not make it. While Yuri stood by one of the interview walls paralyzed with the familiarity of the phone call, this moment. The slam of fear, and the want for anything but this. Not again, not again, not again.
His eyes shooting for the crowd only to find Victor nearby, possibly having followed right after him. His voice a dazed, not quite steady, when he covers the bottom of the phone and microphone to relay. "It's Maccachin. He got into the steamed buns. They're at the vet. They think he might not--"
But, then his sister asking him what to do on the phone. As though he's the one to ask.
His sister who had Victor's number just as likely as his parents did at this point. But called him.
From the vet. Where none of them had even watched him skate. Because Maccachin -- Maccachin was there --
Everything is a cascade in his head. The way everything fell apart, crashing and burning in despair that was a grief that couldn't be felt deep enough, or sated, by any abandonment, or overeating, or comfort. He hadn't been there for years, had seen Vicchan in years, and it'd been another year entirely before he got to see the family shrine to Vicchan.
Even the idea of putting something like that in the room with Victor, putting Victor through something like that, Victor who is right here, right in front of him, makes everything in his head disjoint with screeching denial. He has to be there. With Maccachin. Not here. Not at some competition. Not at Yuri's side, if there's a chance it could. He. Macachin. Could.
There's only one right way. Only right thing, and it's shooting out of Yuri's mouth at Victor instead of Mari. Loud enough she'll hear it though. "Victor. Go back to Japan right now."
Go to Maccachin. While there's still time. "I'll face the free skate tomorrow on my own!"
Re: Wherein it all starts to go wrong
(Even if JJ beats Yuri's short program score, he'll still be in second place, a perfect spot to launch his final attack tomorrow.)
The crowds around them mostly let them through: it's Yurio's turn to be interviewed, and JJ's program is coming to an end, and that means they're mostly off the hook for tonight, so the spot they find, where Yuri comes to a stop, expression turned inward and focused, is largely bereft of people. It's not far from the main hall, and soon skaters will be coming this way to head back to the locker room, but it's fine for the time being.
Except Yuri's face is going pale and horrified, and Victor can't imagine what's being said on the other end of the line. Bad news? Someone hurt, or sick? Some terrible calamity falling upon the town? His mind whirs back, worried, over how they left things there.
Everyone had been fine. Everyone had been happy and healthy and ––
The relayed information lands like a skate blade to his stomach. "Maccachin?"
Yuri is still speaking, phone now clenched in his hand, and Mari still must be on the other end of the line, but Victor can't focus. Maccachin is ... and Yuri is telling him to go. Back to Japan. Without him. To leave him here. "Yuri, I can't."
It comes as reflexively as the way his hands lift between them. The world is spinning and dipping under his feet. Maccachin. His heart grips, clenches, and his stomach feels tight and queasy.
Maccachin has been with him for so long. Has only ever trusted and loved him. Sometimes felt like the only creature in the world happy to see him, when he came home. Maccachin hasn't been just a dog in year, has never –– he's family, maybe the only family Victor really has.
And he might die tonight, in Japan, alone and scared and in pain, and without Victor ––
"We still have another day, you have your free skate. I can't leave you alone here."
No matter how helpless he feels, or how fragile this calm is, that he knows will shatter any second, is the result of shock and not discipline, and all he can think about is the last time he saw Maccachin ––
(you'll have to look after the house while we're away)
–– and the tears streaming down Yuri's face only last week. "It's not possible."
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Everything that normally would trip him up, trap him back, make him quiet, drowning. "--but you have to go back!"
None of it has any weight against the way Victor's face had gone pale, is staying wan, the way Victor seems to get a hold of himself somewhere and but it cracks everywhere else. The way Victor's stalwart, effortless poise seems to have been tapped with a hammer to reveal it was always just made of glass. Or. That his heart was. Made of glass. Tapped with a hammer. Cracking everywhere. That shocked pain cracking Yuri's own.
Somewhere far away some other version of himself said the absolute reverse of his last outburst. It. Doesn't. Matter.
Maccachin might be dying. While they are standing here, arguing about this choice, that isn't a choice, because there's nothing else Victor should do, Maccachin might be dying. Yuri could wipe out on every jump, or get to the middle of the ice and never move for five minutes straight, until someone had to come collect him and even then. Yuri still wouldn't die, and Maccachin might.
He could never, would never, be the reason that happened to Victor.
Not to Victor, too. That he was here, when he shouldn't have been.
He couldn't. He would never. There was only way now.
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(Lilia, thankfully, had got that stupid cat-ear headband off of him before the vultures caught up with them. Some of his fans would probably empty their bank accounts in a heartbeat for the chance to buy it for themselves, but she can burn it for all he cares.)
By the time he's finished with his second song and dance of the day, the final scores are up, and that prick JJ's personal best has shoved him down into an ignominious third place. Not much for him to do now but go back to the hotel. He should probably eat something, if only so he can take a painkiller to deal with the residual throbbing in his sore hip, but the thought of food of any kind is a little sickening. And Yakov doesn't make his stomach feel any better as he says, as the three of them head down the corridor to the main backstage area and the exits, 'Don't eat too many pirozhki tomorrow, all right?'
'Yeah, yeah,' Yuri mutters. Whether or not he has any pirozhki to eat at all really depends on one person, and he's not feeling quite so optimistic as Yakov seems to be about the chance that his grandfather will be able to make it to the second day of the tournament. If he's really not well, I don't want him here. He doesn't need to be in more pain because of me.
It would be a slow, gradual slide into the black downward spiral that's starting to form in his mind -- except that there's a strange sort of commotion going on right ahead of them, a familiar voice raised in what sounds like half of an argument, and it makes Yuri (and his coaches) come to a halt. Because for some reason, Viktor Nikiforov and his skater are up in each other's faces, almost toe to toe in the middle of the public space, and all of the happiness and elation of their moment in the kiss-and-cry seems to have vanished entirely.
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Yuri sounds almost as desperate as he feels, but what else can he do? He doesn't have the freedom to do the things that might be most important to him anymore: he's a coach. When had Yakov ever missed a single one of his competitions? Was there anything, any emergency, any sickness or crisis that could have kept him away?
That winter when a particularly bad strain of flu had swept through St. Petersburg like wildfire, and Yakov had still showed up to the rink, eyes streaming, face red, nearly delirious with fever, to coach him through the Russian Nationals.
And even if he could –– even if there were a way –– he can't leave his skater by himself, here in unfamiliar territory. Yuri still has another skate to go, and it's the one he'd been most worried about last week. His free skate, that they've been working to perfect for months, that takes everything out of him. He needs Victor here. He needs a coach, and Victor had stolen him away from the only other option. Celestino isn't even here, and wouldn't –– not that Victor would, or could ask ––
(But Maccachin might die. And he'd be here.)
Yuri's voice near a panicked fever pitch, stubbornly insisting that he go, which is, it's ridiculous, would be, if Victor could think clearly, if everything could just stop for a moment so he can figure out what to do. Running a gloved hand up into his hair, over this frown that's painfully crumpling his forehead, eyes squeezing shut, but he can't block it out. He can't go, but if he stays, could he focus? Could Yuri?
There's a small crowd growing around them, and he can feel their gazes even with his eyes closed, before they slit open again to stare at the floor.
(He wishes there were someone who could tell him what to do.)
Just as a brush of motion catches his attention, and he looks up, fingers still in his hair, before his eyes widen. "Yakov!"
Standing nearby by a surly angel sent directly from Heaven above, and Victor's nearly running toward him without even thinking about it: reflex and relief and the habit of nearly two decades taking over. Yakov will know what to do, what he should do. He always does. "Thank God."
All of the frustration with Yakov's comments, his disbelief, his lack of interest, dissipating like smoke, as Victor's hands reach for his shoulders. "You're the only coach for me."
The only one he can trust. The only one who can help him, who ever has.
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Yakov, who has seen more than his fair share of theatrics from skaters (his own and others) over the years, isn't quite so startled as Yuri is when Viktor's hand clutches his arm. 'What's this?' he says, with a deliberately light touch in his voice. 'You want to come back?'
Not, perhaps, the most encouraging of opening remarks to a greeting like that. But having heard a little more about the events in the Star Hotel's lobby yesterday afternoon, he is inclined to keep Viktor at arm's length on principle. His first priority is to his own skater, after all -- as any of his former skaters should know well enough.
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Yuri doesn't know if he's ever felt so certain of something in his life. That Victor shouldn't be here. That Victor should be there. That Maccachin had to come before all of this. Rostelecom. Him. Everything. That there was nothing that should compare. Nothing that mattered as much to Victor that he'd ever seen in all of these months, this close. Nothing that had ever been there, for as long as Yuri could remember, from both of their childhoods, even from only interviews and articles.
The way it's screaming clarity inside his thoughts, and Victor just keeps saying can't, but not even looking like he's sure he means it either. A peeking desperation that it almost frightening to see, and even more incredibly frustrating when Victor closes his eyes, and stands there. Behind his hand and his closed eyes, and his stillness, like he can use it as a wall, against even this, against even Yuri, and Yuri thinks that he might have gone crazy because he's thinking about shaking Victor.
Like maybe he doesn't understand. How bad this is. How much worse it can be.
But then Victor's eyes shoot open, to their side, and even as Yuri turns to look, Victor takes off running.
Yelling that one name, and leaving Yuri there, blinking after him as Victor all but throws himself on his old coach.
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There's only one thing he can do. He has to go. He can't go. He has to stay with Yuri. He can't stay with Yuri.
He can't be here, but he has to be here. There's no one else he trusts to stay with Yuri, to coach him and help him and encourage him, and he knows it's asking a lot, too much, but there's no one else he has to ask.
There is only Yakov. Yakov, who, along with Maccachin, feels like he has been the whole of Victor's family for almost the last twenty years. "Can you be Yuri's coach tomorrow, for just one day?"
Maybe Yakov is frustrated with him. Probably he's still upset over Victor leaving, collecting his fifth consecutive World Champion gold medal and hopping on a plane what seemed like the very next day. He knows Yakov has every right to deny this request, but he still makes it. His fingers still dig into the solid shoulders under that old coat, still strong and steady, held straight from many years on the ice, and his voice is still a desperate, heartfelt plea.
(He didn't ask Yakov for his help for that whole year, only sank further and further into a frustrated and furious depression.
He should have asked. He's asking now.)
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