yuri_plisetsky: (not yet begun to fight)
Yuri Plisetsky ([personal profile] yuri_plisetsky) wrote2017-04-13 11:20 pm

Milliways: Chopsticks Instructional Hour [1.09-1.10]

Seated at a booth, Yuri has a bowl of food in front of him and an expression of tight, absolute concentration more likely to be found on a surgeon in the middle of a major operation.

Today is the day that he finally gets it right.




The bar had listened to his somewhat vague request (plain noodles, some normal Japanese kind or something, and, uh, a bunch of steamed vegetables on top, cut a little small but not TOO small) and thankfully had provided about as close to what he'd wanted as he might have imagined. The noodles were plain yellow ones, though they were dressed with some sort of light sesame sauce that was keeping them from sticking together in clumps, and the bowl was piled high with chunks of steamed broccoli, carrots, and those little green beans that he'd had as a snack at Yu-topia a couple of times. (Edo-something? Whatever, he'd eat it.) The bar had also provided several napkins and, for some reason, not one but two pairs of chopsticks: the disposable kind in the wrapper, and a set of regular wooden ones.

(He can take the disposable ones home, at least.)

He's got his phone on the table next to the bowl, one headphone plugged into his ear and three videos queued up, and he's in the middle of the first video, using his left hand to try to reposition the chopsticks in his right hand until they look like they do on the demonstration. It's close enough to make a first attempt, so he keeps his eye on the video as he moves the chopsticks into position to grab a piece of broccoli.

He almost manages to make contact with it before his grip fails and the chopsticks cross.

An annoyed huff, and he taps the phone to restart the video, and goes back to repositioning his hand.
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[personal profile] theglassheart 2017-10-07 02:03 pm (UTC)(link)




He's not too surprised to hear Yurio is taking part in the Challenger Series, either. It's not on the same level as the GPF, but it was Yurio's first year at the Senior Level and it would give him both more practice with his routines, more experience, possibly more prestige and more confidence at the level he'd transitioned into. Especially when compared the age and experience of everyone else he was up against. No one else was as young, or as new.

He wouldn't have been surprised if there were other unaffiliated ones at the international level Yakov put him toward either.

Yuri had done a good bit of both in Seniors before he'd ever transition up toward the Grand Prix. Before that disastrous debut had cut off any and all dreams of even getting beyond the Prix to Four Continents or the World Championship. He'd managed to stand on the ice with his childhood idol and by it only fall apart completely. All of them, once upon a dreams of a younger version of him that seemed so much further away than a few years. Words on a paper folded and put far far away, or maybe even lost along the way.

A conflicted and confusing ache of the memory trickling from his heart at the thought,
bleeding straight into the tension of the panic he was trying to keep at bay already.

Still trying to think of something worthwhile of Yurio's time to respond with, or at least not deserving of all of this turning scathing and swearing at a moment's notice, he blinks in some confusion at the sudden entire shift of the topic. Of the picture Yurio had sent of that kitchen, that he hadn't known what to say back to. The same as the message he'd sent, that there hadn't been, exactly, an answer to either.

It makes him blurt out, "My mother is making a small package to help. It's probably almost done."

She'd been delighted when Yuri had finally remembered to ask, but she seemed easily delighted by all of the events of the last year, while whether she understood anymore than she ever had about skating remained mostly the same. She was delighted with Victor on a daily basis, whether in his company or out of it. She was delighted with having Maccachin around to spoil. She'd been delighted to have Yurio in their home originally.

She'd been delighted with this, too. Maybe even more so because it was something that directly related to her, and her infamous dish. Beyond Yuri's own love for it. Someone had love her cooking enough to try and replicate it in their own way. Wven though he hadn't anything to show her as an example by that time. Victor's had gone, and it would have been incredibly old and cold by then. But it hadn't matter, not that morning and not still, as she puttered at it.

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[personal profile] theglassheart 2017-10-07 04:31 pm (UTC)(link)




The utter unexpected words and loudness make Yuri startles just slightly, shoulders up and in, repeating, "My parents?"

Confused complete surprise, clashing against the mostly flash burned only-there-a-second-ago thought he needs Yuri's address still, too. Something better than 'Russia,' or even 'Moscow,' which happened to both take up a vast amount of space for a small box to get lost in.

He hadn't really been planning to ever ask for that in person, had he? Or even ever by his person. He's told his mother he'd ask Yuu-san, and if they didn't pan out, he'd planned to ask Yuu-san to ask, as he assumed they still talked, and if they didn't, that at least they'd been on friendly enough terms for the spring for her to be able to ask and know she'd hear something.

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[personal profile] theglassheart 2017-10-08 01:49 pm (UTC)(link)




"Oh--" seems to fall out of his mouth with as little thought as the earlier question. Yuri trying to process what it is that could have truly made it seem necessary now. All these months later. When, not to be rude, and not to be ever said out loud, because it was, wasn't it -- it wasn't the kind of thing Yuri associated with the young boy. Ever.

Not that he was a saint in that regard, having gone the better part of the time after his first GPF avoiding Celestino and anything like a polite, respectful ending, until Victor's call in the spring ... but it wasn't something he connected in the slightest with Yurio, and Yurio's short stay. (Even Victor's stay was probably a pitance of what it would cost in the end for eight months of Victor's time and training.)

"--that's probably fine." Even if he was a little pink at the thought he couldn't quite imagine Yurio saying thank you for anything, to anyone, as far as things went and had gone and how he was, Yuri doubted his parents had held on to whether he had or hadn't said goodbye, or thank you, more than half a year ago.

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[personal profile] theglassheart 2017-10-09 12:23 pm (UTC)(link)




Yurio continues like this is something important to him when Yuri's not certain he's ever seen anything matter to Yurio that wasn't a) skating, b) his grandfather, or c) things he could take edgey-strange pictures of for his Instagram. The concept that it is important and of being important right now, eludes really taking root. From the furthest field, making it feel like he's somehow sitting with someone who looks like Yurio, mostly sounds like Yurio, and somehow isn't.

Yurio pauses only to stretch his hand, something he'll probably get used to and overly aggravated at, knowing Yurio, as he continues to learn. Especially if it's few and far between for his practice times. In the long run it wouldn't be anything compared to what they managed, but it Yuri wondered if he was glad he wouldn't be there for it.

(Probably.

After all, somehow he was here, again.)

The last words synch in, too, don't they? He needs the address and that means giving up his own. The same as anyone else would have with the reason given, even if it does seem strange now. (His mother would probably still be pleased, even all these months later. Even if he didn't have to, and she wasn't expecting anything. From then, or the box of supplies, likely.)

There's a press of his mouth and he sets his bowl down, looking at the wooden piece of furniture, again, thinking he'll never get used to this. "Could we have some paper and pens, please?"

There are certain moments he realizes what he says here and what he hears are almost two different things. He can feel the respectful formality of the words he chooses, the phrasing, which means they are not English -- because he's not certain he wants to know what happens if you anger the whatever it was in the wood that could make anything appear -- and thus it's strange, because he's certain other people do understand what he's saying, too.

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[personal profile] theglassheart 2017-10-09 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)




This part Yuri did know well enough, even when Yurio was excusing his uncertainty in an explanation. Yuri had all those years abroad, with enough time that certain things were shipped both directions, to and from. Then, again, at the end, early this year, sending it all back home, along with himself.

It was surprising what you could accumulate, even in a small, efficiency for two, across five years.
Yuri wrote his address in both English and Japanese, with all the appended pieces necessary.

"If you take this with you when you send it, they can use whichever one is easiest from where you are. In the US, it was the English, but--" There's was a not-quite-awkward and not-quite-not-either shrug as if to say that made perfect sense. It was English being used in a predominantly English speaking country.

But he hadn't ever so much as sent a letter to Moscow.

Officially he wasn't even now. But they were both bound to learn.



(Though if he were being perfectly honest, and it was another thing that wouldn't be offered, or admitted, it would not -- by any stretch of imagination or reality -- be the first thing to arrive at Yu-topia, through the non-business, personal address, from Russia. There had, perhaps, been a five-year, almost six now, gap in said happenstance, but who was really keeping track.)

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[personal profile] theglassheart 2017-10-10 01:46 am (UTC)(link)




Yuri takes his own paper, in the all too familiar Cyrillic that had surrounded him so recently. Familiar and foreign in one. There isn't much he can make out of it besides one, maybe two, words. Learning a few phrases to be able to say them in passing was not nearly anything like learning a third alphabet entirely so you could piece the words together, or like he knew what the system for it was.

There's a nod, more than an answer this time, as it starts feeling like air doesn't quite know what to do with itself, or maybe that's just Yuri. Not that it is anything like new. He's done both things that could possibly need doing or be done now, and Yurio is back to setting his chopsticks in his hand and attempting to eat, and Yuri's own gaze moves back to his bowl, but it makes him wonder more about home than need to pick it up.

Maybe there is, almost warily, a glance off his shoulder to finally (finally) see if the door is still there.





(It is, of course. Solid.
Shaped. Shining handle.)



[ But then, it looked like it
was last time, too. ]

Edited 2017-10-10 01:51 (UTC)
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[personal profile] theglassheart 2017-10-10 10:52 am (UTC)(link)




He's too exhausted from the day, and half-distracted by everything that has his sitting here, for anything like outright panic.

Especially still being this far away. But that doesn't keep the rest of his head from worrying. From the consideration. From the concern. From the question. From an overdone, all too viscerally imprinted reminder of the dreams, the flash sudden overwhelming panic, fear, desperation, despair that sometimes woke him up. To rooms that reminded him only seconds later he wasn't there.

Which doesn't keep his guts from twisting up at the memory of the real, and not-real, times it's happened, cementing the feeling deeper and deeper. Doesn't entirely help to think it's not real here, like he could in bed. When it could be. Has been. Has proven it can.

A door in the way. A wall. A world, a universe, millions.


(He knows why he's dreaming it.
He doesn't need to be told.

Knows exactly how many days.
Even if he tries not to. He knows.)



He blinks back to Yurio talking and staring at him, and then the door, and Yuri flushes, like the sun decided it should sit right against the sides of his neck. Hastily stumbling right into, "Sorry." He doesn't know entirely what to do with his hands. The papers is in his pockets, and the sudden cold, coiled hissing in his stomach doesn't really want to swallow food. "I --uh--" am a mess, works really well here, and Yuri's fingers clench into his pants not to come up and touch, or cover, his face. "--probably should in a few minutes."

Edited 2017-10-10 11:22 (UTC)
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[personal profile] theglassheart 2017-10-13 11:45 am (UTC)(link)




Looking over his shoulder had not needed an audience. It was a simple enough movement. A simple enough point. But that flash of heat in his cheeks, his neck, and the tension squeezing his chest makes it anything but simple now that it's garnered its own attention. Enough that that his thought race too fast between thinkings like it shouldn't matter and of course, Yurio would notice, because he couldn't not-notice last time and he's here and that's all Yurio needs, another reason to laugh at him or yell at him.

The first words being said next to him half-going past the roar of heat and embarrassment,
and half-drowned under it.



Until Yurio's eating stops entirely for ordering Yuri to the door beyond them.


That makes his heart jump so hard at the first understand that it feels like it ricochets into the bottom of his chin, maybe doesn't' stop until it slams the top of his skull. An inversion, and invasion, too fast, too firm, too absolutely what he doesn't have, it doesn't need, shooting fear before anything like rationality can balance or back it up. "W-we really don't have to."

If he was stuck again, he was stuck, and if he wasn't, then he'd go home. That was it. Maybe it was on where you opened the door, and who did. But none of those four struck and stuck to that single cord of feat that easily laced itself at the first touch of direct pressure.

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[personal profile] theglassheart 2017-10-14 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)




"I looked at it once!" These are the words that decide to shoot themselves out his mouth first, very likely because his mouth and his head hate him. It's likely the last thing he needed to point out. Like a point of order or defense, and it's all effort to stop up his mouth and not point out he knows that because he's been not-looking-at-it this whole time and that one time was just finally not being able to not do it.

Not entirely because of this reason, but because of it, too. Especially now. When he hadn't thought of it first, but now Yurio was pointing it out. Like it would be one slip and he'd never stop. The flare of heat, that's embarrassment and defense, heating the inside of his chest as much as the outside of his skin, leaving him trapped within and between both as Yurio rubs at his face and keeps talking.

About the number of things Yuri still hardly has any idea how to put into words. The things that happened, why they happened. The resignation settling into Yurio's face and posture make him almost look tired in the way Yuri's own muscles feel, even after the long time spent in the hot water. Even if it's been ... a while. Not long enough. Not long enough by far, though, either. Only long enough to not be today, or yesterday, or a few days ago.

There wasn't even a month to be had between when they had been to where they were going.

It's a strange feeling -- between watch Yurio, as he's talking about that, barely having a clue still what to really say to it, about it, about living it, about having a hundred of his own questions, that only sometimes even formed into actual words that could be said out loud and that of the door, existing right off their corner, the point of the whole thing, tingling at his shoulder, as though he has to look and go there now.

Because he does, doesn't he? For Yurio now, too? Yuri can at least find the decency to stand up, right? He can. He does. He's still not sure he wants to know. It's bad enough to fear something in his own head (he fears things in his own head all the time, hundreds, thousands, millions, real and not real, stupid and sensible), but to have someone else holding it ...

Yuri didn't know if that made it better or worse.

Real. It made it more real.


(And real meant he couldn't just tell himself he was being an idiot, which he usually was, or that his head had run away with itself, and any sense of reality, which it usually had, and that it would be fine if he could just breathe and stop his head from spinning and spinning, which it -- well -- results were always a mixed bag, but so was thinking he could control it, wasn't it?)

But he does get up, and his dry barefeet do shuffle in that direction. Toward the Door that seems larger, and his chest smaller, with each of those shuffling steps. He doesn't want to know. He's not sure he really likes this place at all already. He stops not far from. Maybe a foot. Wondering again, in a loop (he's always in loops), if he's blocking the door from someone again. If it works inside and out of some radius.

He's never seen people run into each other. He's never thought watched anyone else using it.

"You wouldn't have to buy me a ticket." Certain, if a touch dry and pressed out his mouth. Just. Just ... in case.

Before Yuri places his hand on the door handle. (He's stuck in the loop of that second, too. The reminder. The desperation. That torn feeling between where his heart wanted and needed to be: on the ice, with Victor. The cold feeling drilling into his lungs now that he might not have ever left it. He left the bar. He left Moscow. He was home. He had Victor. Why did he still feel that tearing just as keenly, then? Why wasn't it new, again, just this second?)

It opens easy as a whisper this time under his fingers. The bathroom on the other side. The air from the bathroom still a roll of warmth as though hot water was still running somewhere, and the cling of condensation beading on the edge of a mirror as the fog that had been all over it was slowly finding a way to finally dissipate. Yuri's heart giving a thunderously relieved beat.

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[personal profile] theglassheart 2017-10-14 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)




The relief, though it lowers his shoulder and the press of his mouth, isn't warm or loose. There's a strange prickle of cold sticking inside his heart beats, inside the first breath he pulls in. A splinter of chill at the center of waves that should have been just relief, just gladness. Uncomfortably confusing, and almost disorienting ... and more familiar than he wants to even squint his eyes in the direction of.

It makes him want to push back into the bathroom, and to stand still.

It's easier to just swallow down some of the hot air, sticking on its way down his nose and throat.
Swallow. Blink. Breathe in, again. Steel whichever part of him it requires steeling to turn his hand and close it.

(Pretend he doesn't hear the voice whispering

now that he thinks it works is the perfect setup
for the next when it won't work at all
.)


Yuri knows the door doesn't really make any more sound closing than it did opening it, but it feels more finite amid the complicated layering of thoughts and feelings blowing across his head and chest, and he blinks looking over at Yurio's words. Finding the brief moor of them, before adding to them. "Maybe it is whoever opens it from wherever they came, then."

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[personal profile] theglassheart 2017-10-16 12:01 pm (UTC)(link)




It's a common ground of knowledge neither of them has, instead of the playing field, the competing field, where they've both been learning, living, and riding the raw-edged of their entire lives. The few words make Yuri look from the door to the people around them. At the bar, at the table, not paying any much more attention to them than they'd paid the people earlier, but it feels more obvious, more central. To be up, and still possibly in the way of both those leaving and those coming.

It sits between Yuri's shoulderblade, burrowing a little deeper in with each drop of uncertainty.

Constant even as he tries to remember if it's been normal for him. The bathroom had happened twice.
The only standing pattern. At least this time it had let him get dressed first, before bringing him to this place.

He'd closed the door, meaning to keep the word he'd given a few minuted ago, but Yurio's words have an announced kind of finality to them. What he needs to do now, what he'll keep doing going forward ... and it ends with a thank you, that Yurio doesn't seem any more certainly comfortable in giving than Yuri quite knows what to do when it does fall into his hands. Not pushed, or dropped, just sort of pressed into the air between them. Uncertain.

But.


Trying?


Even if a corner of Yuri is dubiously uncertain himself -- and some part of him always is, some part of him is always ready to jump for the ceiling, to want to run back to his room, always had been, even a world away from it, the kind of reaction Yurio has long since made manifest -- what happens doesn't come from there at all. It's not entirely a curve. It's more sidelong than that, but it's still curved at the edges of his mouth, too. Not certain those words are needed, but still able to see that Yurio is trying to be gracious.

For some reason. Even if it's ungainly. In his mouth. On his shoulders.

(He really is so young, isn't he? Even with the anger and all the biting, hissing, clawing edges.)

It always feel not-quite-right in English, but Yuri says, "Your welcome," as the better part of discretion of it never sounding right when he tried to point out of it wasn't necessary either. There were at least two different responses in Japanese that handled both of those at once. It hurt nothing to just nod and say it in the only language they did share, before awkwardly shifting back his gaze back to the door.

"I guess I should go down to dinner, then." Even if he'd only just before getting up said he could stay a few minutes. A mixed thing. Like he should before a trap could, world, spring. But, also, aware of the very different, very much more ... subdued way Yurio had been this whole time since he'd shown up. At least after the first shock of his existing.

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[personal profile] theglassheart 2017-10-16 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)




Dismissals are easy, in almost any flavor. Even when they hurt, Yuri knows them. They have a particular flavor and feeling, and he can just wander off, and, well, he'd been mostly certain that was where everything was going with Yurio saying thank you here at the door. Even if Yuri had closed the door intending to keep his word.

Dinner would keep, the same way his family would keep, and Victor would ...

Except put that way, it felt too weird.
For Victor. A complicated knot of longing.

(Not to be confused with the complicated knot
that reminded him 'keeping Victor' was
not something he got much longer.)


Stealing minutes from the end of time didn't change the timer. Not if Victor wasn't in them, too. It's a confused feeling. Whatever else goes with it in conjunction, it was confusing. An ache that pressed down on his ribs, making him realize as he was focusing, that Yurio had his hands up and was talking about -- it took a second, and scrunch of his forehead. Oh, noodles.

Yuri nodded, again. Seemingly unable not to. "Mostly."

It's an odd place to stand, but then so was no being certain if he was supposed to stay or leave now.

"You have to be--" What was the word though even when the thought was contradicting and the only thing he could think, which meant it just went falling out of his mouth instead of staying to be labeled with any more helpful terms. "It can be more complicated, because the noodles are slippery than the rice and won't stick to each other, so you have to hold the chopsticks tighter. But not too tight, because they can be thinner and softer and ended up breaking apart between the chopsticks with too much pressure, too."

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